I’m not going all in…
Sunday, 23rd NovemberLooking at what I last wrote, I’m not going all in.
That was the opening line in my last journal entry. A few days earlier, I’d been exploring the feeling of wanting to do everything at once. I was in that phase of ideas when the mania kicks in and you want to do it all straight away. I know it’s not a sustainable way to take action but I was wondering if I should just embrace it. I decided to let it play out. To not think about it, get on with life for a few days and see if I really did try to do everything. My sub-conscious and body decided for me. I’m not going all in!
Life just got in the way of me doing it all. I had a lot to do anyway, my sleep wasn’t terrific and I was tired. Attacking all my plans and ideas on top of day-to-day was just too much. I didn’t have the focus, energy and frankly, it began to feel overwhelming very quickly.
So, I focused on trying to apply consistency to one thing, my evenings. A sufferer of insomnia for over two decades, I know how important regulating my sleep is. Even with my history, I still find the draw of scrolling on my phone or a TV series is enough to scupper my evening routine.
To help with this, I ordered an adult colouring book. It’s such a simple but effective way to calm my mind in the evening and it hugely reduces the urge to pick up my phone as my hands are busy.
It’s helped. I’ve not been consistent every night. I’m human and I had plans some nights, but I’ve stopped looking at my phone as much, I’m more relaxed in the evening and I am going to bed calm.
I’m not giving Picasso a run for his money, but I enjoy it!
I ended my last journal entry focusing on the positives. I had not made huge advances in my plans, but I had done something, I signed off the entry:
I am in control and I choose to be positive and excited by what I have achieved.
